Though it's not as good as his best movies, at least in this moment of my life, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is the most personally relatable of Judd Apatow's recent outrageous comedies with heart about slacker man boys growing up. Though it doesn't have as brilliant a leading man as "The 40 Year Old Virgin," it's less coherent overall than "Knocked Up," and not nearly as funny as "Superbad," it's by far the one that that I, as a sensitive, Jason Segal-type Jewish nerd (who would be proud to be the creator of a Dracula puppet musical,) can relate to the most out of his recent hits. I mean, I haven't gotten anybody pregnant, didn't have crazy "American Grafitti" like adventures when I graduated high school, and didn't have to wait to lose my virginity until I turn 40, thank you very much, but I have been dumped. Very recently, in fact.
In my post a few days ago, I made reference to circumstances which "led to a long period of self pity and despair." To keep all of you loyal readers out there who have been wondering and worrying about said circumstances, I will lift the shroud of mystery for all those readers who don't know me (there might be one or two!) and reveal the inner secrets of my painful and tortured 2008.
Basically, as I implied in the opening paragraph which I so gracelessly wrote to try and make this post relevant to the current pop culture zeitgeist, I got dumped.
It's not the first time I've been dumped, nor will it be the last time. But this dumping has been particularly brutal due to a few factors:
1.) My ex girlfriend and I just moved into a new, awesome West Hollywood apartment right before she dumped my ass, an apartment complete with a backyard and a "cute" front patio. The place is a comfortable walking distance from everything a Los Angelino could need, from grocery stores to movie theaters to barber shops to hip bars to various ethnic eateries. You can even walk to Amoeba in less than twenty minutes from the place. What else could you ask for?
Oh yeah, you could ask for a washer/ dryer in the apartment, ridding yourself of the need to horde quarters and stake out your building's laundry machines like a rabid animal. Yeah, this place has that too.
2.) We just got a dog, and one with major abandonment issues and more neurosis than Woody Allen (making him the perfect pet for myself, by the way.) The poor dog probably didn't think he was going to become a child of divorce so quickly, but that's the society we live in today.
3.) We were less than two weeks shy of our 3 year anniversary, which happens to fall on the same weekend as Valentine's day. It totally ruined that movie "Jumper" for me. (Kidding, I didn't see "Jumper." But I did, despite my very acute fantasy movie fatigue, nearly buy a ticket to see "The Spiderwick Chronicles" that weekend, simply because the Indiana Jones trailer premiered with that movie.)
4.) The dumping came just a few weeks after my job writing for the internet for compensation ended (which is why I write for the internet for free these days.) Obviously, this is not her fault, but being unemployed and dumped at the same time is a nice recipe to make you feel utterly worthless.
I don't write all this personal information on this blog, which I normally use as a forum to discuss, debate, and generally overanalyze pop culture ephemera, to try to arouse your sympathy, vilify my ex (she made a decision she felt she needed to make in her life and I can't begrudge her that,) or to reveal to the world that I am becoming a eye shadow wearing, Fall Out Boy listening emo douche. I am not going to start using this blog to whine and complain, or start using this as a forum to tell the world my "mood" at the top of each blog, complete with an appropriate emoticon and a description of what sad music I am "currently listening" to to help illustrate my deep sadness to the world, even though the world will never understand my pain, boo hoo.
No, I revealed this information to you to publicly acknowledge and explain why I've been less than productive in my writing, both on my blog and in general, since 2008 started. It's because the double whammy of being laid off and dumped at the beginning of a new year kind of kicked my ass for awhile, and did lead to more than a little bit of moping around and wearing pajama bottoms until midday. (In my defense, I had cool, and very comfortable, Jack Daniels pajama bottoms. But they recently ripped and became unwearable, which I suppose is metaphor or sign for something somehow.)
And the main reason I'm writing this blog is to officially make a vow for all the world to see: I'm going to start turning this year around, from this moment on. I've got balls rolling on multiple writing projects that I'm very excited about and a few promising job prospects finally popping up. So, as a good (and nerdy) screenwriter, I'm going to consider the last few months of my life the "second act break" of this particular storyline, which is always the low point for the hero of any screen story. We folks who are "in the biz" (or, more accurately, hope to one day be "in the biz,") call it the "all is lost" moment, when the chips are all down for the main character, when everything looks totally bleak, when... well, all is lost. And like any good, interesting, and active hero, it's up to me to write an ending to this story where I turn around all my misfortune, write a kick ass screenplay, get an agent and studio deal, and, because living well really is the best revenge, start dating either Mila Kunis or Kristen Bell (I had to tie it all back in to "Sarah Marshall" somehow, didn't I?)
So, yes, you may have won round one, 2008. But now it's my turn.
And I plan on making the rest of this year my bitch.
1 comment:
she was hot, too.
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