Hope Mixed With A Side Of Disappointment And Sadness

Last night was a wonderful victory for American progress with Barack Obama's election. But on the same historic night that a black man was elected as the next President of the United States of America, civil rights were being stripped from millions of Americans through the passage of the vile Proposition 8 in California (and similar gay marriage bans in Arizona, Florida, while Arkansas passed a horrifying ban on gay couples adopting children.) Prop 8 creates a constitutional ban on gay marriage, and the yes on 8 campaign was funded by millions of dollars from Mormons outside of California, some of the money coming from outside of the U.S.

The basic argument was that gay marriage somehow threatens the fabric of "traditional families." What I'm trying to understand is how my family is somehow a threat to other families.

I was raised by a lesbian couple. My mothers have been together for nearly 30 years. I'm 26, and I'm the oldest of four siblings. My parents have never broken up or even been separated in my lifetime. When my parents decided to have children, they took it as a solemn commitment to stay together in good times and in bad, no matter how much they drive each other crazy sometimes (as all couples do.) With most "traditional marriages" ending in divorce, how is my completely normal and loving American family somehow a threat to anything or anybody? All three of my siblings and I are normal and well adjusted (if sometimes slightly neurotic) people. We've all gotten into good colleges and none of us have ever gotten into any real trouble. When I was in high school and still lived at home, we would have family dinners together every night that my birth mom would make from scratch, like a stereotypical "traditional mother" (though very few "traditional mothers" still cook dinner for their families every single night in this day and age, but my mom did.) My family spent a lot more time together than most American families do... we had movie nights, and family trips into the city, and we would gather in the living room to watch our favorite TV shows together. We still spend the holidays together every year, and I hear from both my moms at least once a day when they call to just check in and see how I'm doing. We're practically a 1950's sitcom perfect family, other than the fact that my parents are two women instead of a man and a woman. What's so terrifying about that? What is it that these people fear or are trying to make other people afraid of?

I'm deeply disappointed and personally hurt by the choice California voters made in this election. I thought that Californians were a more tolerant bunch than this, but too much money was poured into the passing of 8 by the Mormon Church, who feels it's okay to impose their morality in a ballot proposition, separation of church and state be damned.

A vote for Prop 8 was a vote for intolerance, bigotry, and inequality. The fact that is passed is extremely discouraging, but the fact that is passed by such a narrow margin gives me a glimmer of hope. More and more people seem to be getting it, and soon enough a majority of people will be empathetic to the civil rights of gay couples. Equal rights for gays is the next big civil rights battle, and the same people who once tried to prevent African Americans and women from getting the vote are trying to prevent couples who love each other from marrying, just because both members of the couple are the same gender. Those people who tried to stop progress 40 years ago eventually failed, after brave progressives fought long and hard for what they knew in their hearts and minds was right and just. And now a black man has been elected president on the same day that a gay marriage ban passed in California. It's as if one chapter on the story of American civil rights is closing and another one is beginning.

It's going to be a long, tough fight, with many setbacks along the way. But America will get there. Barack Obama's election is proof that it will take time, but America will get there.